in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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