oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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