Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
