I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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