He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
