I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
