my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
