Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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