I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
