K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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