Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
