I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
