In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
