It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
