1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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