i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
