Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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