Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
