on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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