I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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