im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
