I love black thongs
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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