your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
