It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
