Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
