I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
