It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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