Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
