The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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