I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize