I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
