Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
