I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
