Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
