He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
