I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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