dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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