So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
