I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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