Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
