She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Ketchup is God's man juice
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
