I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
