she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
