Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
