I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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