all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
