On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
