Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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