ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
