I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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