I wanna bring you to show and tell
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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