So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
