just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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