U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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