I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
