Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
