i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
