He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
