She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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