i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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