Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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