God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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