elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
