That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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