That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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