You just made me feel so damn special
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize