i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize