Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
